совершенно не знал про такой милый ресурсец
https://www.linuxatemyram.com/

How do I see how much free ram I really have?

To see how much ram your applications could use without swapping, run free -m and look at the "available" column:

  $ free -m
                total        used        free      shared  buff/cache   available
  Mem:           1504        1491          13           0         855      792
  Swap:          2047           6        2041

(On installations from before 2016, look at "free" column in the "-/+ buffers/cache" row instead.)
This is your answer in MiB. If you just naively look at "used" and "free", you'll think your ram is 99% full when it's really just 47%!
For a more detailed and technical description of what Linux counts as "available", see the commit that added the field.

When should I start to worry?

A healthy Linux system with more than enough memory will, after running for a while, show the following expected and harmless behavior:

• free memory is close to 0
• used memory is close to total
• available memory (or "free + buffers/cache") has enough room (let's say, 20%+ of total)
• swap used does not change

Warning signs of a genuine low memory situation that you may want to look into:

• available memory (or "free + buffers/cache") is close to zero
• swap used increases or fluctuates
• dmesg | grep oom-killer shows the OutOfMemory-killer at work